


Offering Nothing, Holding Everything.

by leathansparrow



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Consent Issues, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Mind Games, Mirrors, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-21
Updated: 2012-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:25:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leathansparrow/pseuds/leathansparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how well they know there isn't anything they can do, they aren't going to let the Fourteenth take Allen without a fight.  </p>
<p>OT4 semi-introspective short fic.  Spoilers up to chapter 198.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Offering Nothing, Holding Everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Consent issues for the whole "I have an extra person in my head" thing. 
> 
> Also dubious canon placement. I have no idea where and when this actually takes place. :)

\----Lenalee----

Whenever Lenalee joins them at night, Allen spends the first minute with the sneaking suspicion something terrible is about to happen. It never does. Lenalee’s careful and watchful and she laughs when his eyes flick to the door or the corner of the room. It’s more of a joke now than it used to be, a silly reminder of dangers that really aren’t dangers at all.

[Most of the time.]

Things have changed a little now. First it was the Crows. Lvellie and his men. The first night Lenalee came to them after that she was shaking. Allen made the mistake of thinking she would cry. Holding her tight, whispering soothing promises in her ear, she instead shoved him back across the bed, kissed him and lost herself in his touch.

Were it not for the reason, Allen might have appreciated it more. And it does happen more, every time someone gives the demon in his head a nod. Every time someone hints they might take him away.

He can always tell when it’s going to happen. When she’ll be forceful and strong and why the target is always him. He’ll admit readily that he likes it. She’s still gentle, firm as she pushes him into the sheets, straddles his thighs and bites at his throat. It’s how she is—she could never harm her family. She presses him into her, fucks herself down on him until they’re both sweaty and gasping and wrung dry, and then she spills onto the sheets beside him, gathers him up in her arms and whispers in his ear.

“Don’t you dare take him away, you hear me?” she whispers. “Don’t you take him away. I’ll hunt you to the ends of the earth, so don’t you ever take him away.”

In his mind’s eye Allen sees Neah frown, a little half-smirking thing that is tempted by her challenge, and further by her passion. Allen isn’t certain whether he takes Lenalee’s warnings to heart, or is more tempted to be contrary by them. 

\----Lavi----

Lavi has his own ways of dealing with the rumors. He’s been distant lately, more so than he was, but he makes the time for them all the same. Sometimes Allen catches him staring off, and wonders whether something is wrong and if he can help. Most of the time Lavi smiles at him, and makes up for his distance three-fold.

More than that even. He seems to take the hints of Neah’s presence as a direct challenge. Allen confessed to him once that he could see Neah’s shadow in his reflection now, that dark figure looming over him. At the time he hadn’t yet seen Neah’s face, or known his name, but he could see him watching all the same. Knowing Neah’s smile now, as he does, he can see that too. He can see Neah watching, intent in the window’s reflection, as Lavi splays him out and sucks his cock until he’s a panting mess.

The first time Lavi slips a mirror into his room, Allen is wary. He took down all the mirrors in his bedroom as soon as he realized Neah was watching him in them. He didn’t think it stopped Neah, not really. Seeing him in every reflection was just too unnerving. 

Lavi doesn’t seem to think so. Rather he seems to think it’s more fun that way, to display Allen’s naked body, bare to his own reflection as he sweeps those long, ink-stained fingers over Allen’s pale skin. He presses teasing kisses to Allen’s throat, laps the curve of his ear and fucks him. He spreads him wide at just the right angle, so that Allen can see everything. So that Neah can see everything.

Neah’s eyes are dark, darker. Somber as he watches, and he always does. Allen can never tell what he’s thinking, but he’s always watching. The curve of Lavi’s hands over Allen’s chest, the fingers tight at his hip, all seem to warn him: mine. The challenge in Lavi’s eyes is different than Lenalee’s. Not a plea and a warning. It’s a claim.

This is what you can’t have. 

\----Kanda----

Kanda is the only one who seems no different. At first, that is, because Allen realizes in the end that Kanda is simply better at hiding his distaste for the Noah. He doesn’t treat Allen any differently, and for that Allen is grateful. He doesn’t remind Allen, as they’re tangled in the sheets, that there’s always someone else watching. He doesn’t give Allen any measure of pity for his troubles.

Allen falls into Kanda’s arms a little desperately, clings to that solid indifference. Between them it’s always been a competition, more fight than love, more wrestling than touching, until one of them lies pinned and panting and ready to give in to the heat consuming both of them. It’s Kanda more often than Allen would have imagined, and himself as much as he could like. Sometimes Allen enjoys letting go, and letting all that silent passion cover him. Sometimes the frustration he feels is too much, and Kanda is the only one who can give him release from it.

Allen doesn’t think about it, doesn’t worry over it, until he hears, one night, in the possessive curl of Kanda’s arms. The faint hiss of Kanda’s breath against his ear stirs him just enough to hear: “I will kill you. He’s mine. Don’t forget it.”

\----Allen----

As their bond strengthens, and Neah’s consciousness grows within his mind, it becomes more and more difficult for Allen to keep his hold on the present. He slips, sometimes, between the world in his head and the world he can touch. They have an understanding of sorts. Allen wants to kill the Earl as much as Neah does. So long as Allen does not fail nor lose sight of that, Neah is content, for now, to watch him try, but Neah is a curious thing. Allen learns he liked living, all those years ago. He liked touching and taking and learning and having lost that touch he is all the more desperate for it.

He doesn’t know Allen can see that. He doesn’t know that Allen sees every grasp he tries, every reach he makes, for the world outside of their shared mind.

Tangled in the arms of his lovers, sometimes one, sometimes two, sometimes all three, Allen finds his grip on reality slipping sometimes. He feels Neah’s reach, his want, and he finds himself amused by it.

Seated on that ancient white throne, his limbs bound by the chains of his own mind, Allen smiles. “You could have that,” he says. “So long as I’m free, you could have that too.”

Neah laughs at him. Allen doesn’t expect anything less. Neah is a Noah, after all. Of course he’d think himself above them. Still, Allen thinks, wrapping his fingers in Lenalee’s hair as she kisses him, her body rocking into Lavi’s touch and Kanda’s lips tracing Allen’s throat, Neah isn’t as above them as he likes to think. He may be a Noah, but he’s still human.


End file.
